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4 Ways To Deal With Emotionally Abusive Parents

Having trouble with emotionally violent parents? You're not by yourself. This article offers vital advice on how to spot abuse, establish limits, put self-care first, and ask for assistance. Find ways to heal, cope, and create a better future.

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Image by Freepik

It can be extremely difficult and isolated to live with emotionally abusive parents. They have the ability to dehumanize, manipulate, and emotionally deplete you with their words and deeds. Recalling that you're not alone in this circumstance is crucial, but getting through it calls for empathy, self-care, and occasionally outside assistance.

Child abuse generally happens when parents punish their kids in the setting of a worsening parent-child relationship, although it doesn't always happen that way. parents frequently perceive their kids as having behavioral disorders, being stubborn, and being insensitive to gentle punishment.  When kids disregard their parents' rules to the extent of severe hostility, they may learn that they can get away with it, which may strengthen their avoidant attitude

When a child refuses to comply, parents may become more coercive until, in certain cases, it escalates to the point where there is violent conduct between the parents and the child. A hostile parent-child connection arises when there aren't as many good encounters. It's marked by the parents' distaste for the child, negative assessments of them, and an increased reliance on severe physical punishment as a form of discipline.

In addition to being linked to an increased chance of committing child abuse in the future, a history of child abuse and neglect in the family of origin has also been linked to men's intimate partner violence. Nevertheless, studies involving abusive fathers have not consistently produced results. According to certain research, abusive and at-risk men are more likely than non-abusive fathers to disclose their own histories of abuse as children, much like abusive moms.

Men are probably more susceptible to parenting-related challenges and their capacity to manage them is likely to be hampered by their experience with Men mental health issues. Biased views and unfavorable attitudes about other people have been connected to depression, and studies on depressed moms show a higher likelihood of dysfunctional parenting.

But keep in mind, that you're not alone in this, and additionally, there are things you can take to protect yourself and help you make sense of this difficult situation. Here's how to begin getting better and managing:

1. Identifying the Abuse

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Image by Freepik

Recognizing the problem as it is is the first step. Subtle forms of emotional abuse are frequently presented as "tough love" or "criticism for your own good." Typical indicators consist of:

  • Verbal abuse includes taunts, putdowns, threats, and persistently negative remarks.·  

  • Emotional control tactics include guilt trips, assigning blame,and withholding affection.

  • Dismissing your emotions and making you feel"hypersensitive" is confirming your sentiments

  • Controlling behavior includes making decisions for you, excludingyou from friends and family, and keeping tabs on everything you do.

It's not your fault if these actions reflect your experiences. You should be accorded dignity and respect.

2. Establishing Limits

Image by our-team on Freepik
Image by our-team on Freepik

Setting limits is essential as soon as you realize that abuse is occurring. This entails setting firm boundaries for what you will and won't put up with. The following are some tactics:

  • Establish clear boundaries by stating what actions are inappropriate and the repercussions for going beyond them calmly and firmly (e.g., closing the conversation, or leaving the room).

  • Limit communication Try to spend less time and space with your parents both physically and mentally. Less time spent at home, establishing ground rules for phone conversations, or taking complete communication breaks could all be part of this.

  • Apply the "grey rocking" technique: Avoid arguing or providing excuses in response to their hostility; instead, respond to them in a detached, impartial manner.

3. Prioritizing Self-Care

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Image by Freepik

Your mental and emotional health suffers when you have to deal with emotional abuse. Prioritizing self-care is essential for building resilience and controlling the effects:

  • Seek assistance by speaking with a dependable friend, counselor, or therapist. Getting affirmation for your experiences and sharing them with others may be immensely empowering.

  • Take part in things you enjoy doing: Make your interests and pastimes a priority that make you happy and relax. This could be anything from reading to taking in the scenery to interacting with reassuring family members.

  • Engage in self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness. Please accept responsibility for your conduct and for whatever decisions you made while handling this trying circumstance. Remind yourself that you're doing your best.

4. Looking for Outside Assistance

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Image by Freepik

Seeking outside assistance is essential if the abuse is severe, causing you great emotional pain, or endangering your safety. Think about these possibilities:

  • Expert counseling: A therapist can help you comprehend the complexities of the abuse, create coping strategies, and mend from the emotional wounds. They can also offer family treatment.

  • Crisis hotline: If the situation becomes so extreme you can get quick support and direction by calling a crisis hotline if you feel scared or overwhelmed.

  • Legal aid: It's critical to seek legal counsel and protection if the abuse entails threats, bodily harm, or other unlawful acts.


Recovering from emotional trauma requires patience and a journey. Remain patient with yourself and acknowledge even the smallest successes. Recall that you are not alone. You can overcome this difficult experience and create a better, healthier future with the aid of resources and support networks.


Being emotionally abusive parents to children can be extremely harmful and alienating. But it's important to realize that there are strategies to deal with and recover—you are not alone. This post offers a road map for overcoming this difficult circumstance, highlighting:

  • Recognizing the mistreatment: Identify warning signals such as verbal abuse, control, and denial of your emotions.

  • Establishing limits Keep your distance, speak up, and put your emotional well-being first.

  • Making self-care a priority: Participate in enjoyable activities, ask for help from dependable people, and learn to be compassionate with yourself.

  • Looking for outside help: If necessary, make use of counseling, crisis hotlines, or legal aid.

Recall that mending requires patience and time. Appreciate your little successes and remember that you can get through this and create a better future for yourself if you have the right tools and support.


Written by Mochamad Afi Adani

Edited by Virginia Helzainka


Chaffin, M., Silovsky, J. F., Funderburk, B., Valle, L. A., Brestan, E. V., Balachova, T., Jackson, S., Lensgraf, J., & Bonner, B. L. (2004). Parent-child interaction therapy with physically abusive parents: Efficacy for reducing future abuse reports. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 72(3), 500–510.

Francis, K. J., & Wolfe, D. A. (2008). Cognitive and emotional differences between abusive and non-abusive fathers. Child Abuse and Neglect, 32(12), 1127–1137.

Wilson, S. R., Rack, J. J., Shi, X., & Norris, A. M. (2008). Comparing physically abusive, neglectful, and non-maltreating parents during interactions with their children: A meta-analysis of observational studies. Child Abuse and Neglect, 32(9), 897–911.


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